I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
