You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
