Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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