Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
