How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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