You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
