Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am puke
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
