Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
