you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
