The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he thought i was a dude.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
