Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize