I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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