she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
