I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize