Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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