My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
