I can tuck mytits in my pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
