...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
