Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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