I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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