You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
