she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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