So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
