Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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