well you can't waste a boner
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
