Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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