we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
