dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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