I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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