just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
