RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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