I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
