can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dignity is for republicans.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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