i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
