good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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