We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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