would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
