dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
