She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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