I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
