He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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