Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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