this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
