So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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