I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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