Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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