Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
