did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
