Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
