It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Life is so much better after having sex.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
