And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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