so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
