i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
