The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
