You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
