its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
