How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
