Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
