She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
